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I gave my wife a puzzling look before looking at my phone and then let out a “mother fucker, you’ve got to be kidding!”To which she replied, “don’t worry about it, Marti, this will probably blow over. Let’s just make the most of it ok? I couldn’t believe what I was reading. We were receiving messages warning all residents to prepare for a hurricane – son of a bitch! I was pissed for a bit but then realized that there really wasn’t much I could do except live in the moment and enjoy so that’s exactly what I did until we got a call from the front desk two days later informing us that the islands were being evacuated and we needed to leave as quickly as possible.Fuck me! We thought about ignoring the message but then realized that if we didn’t get a move on it, we’d be stuck in traffic forever and things would go from bad to worse. So, we packed up our bags, got in the car and headed off the island with a million other people.Traffic absolutely sucked, moving an inch a minute and gas. She was smiling when she made that suggestion as well.Four dozen diapers and depending on how messy I was at least three pair ofbaby pants a day besides. She actually called them baby pants and I wasfurious as I waited for my Xerox copy. It went down hill from there when Iwalked up to the front door of the Mommy's and Baby's Emporium and saw myattorney as well as the health nurse. "Mr. Martin, I'm Nurse Carter, Sandysince you and I are going to become somewhat intimate in a manner ofspeaking. I'll be supervising your layette by request of Judge Julie," thewoman said turning to hold the door open for me.I had a nineteen inch waist and she told me that I was very lucky becausethat would put me right at the edge of a cubby toddler and that meant Icould buy diapers for about half of what an adult would pay for theirs.Although I didn't feel lucky as the sales lady pointed to the sectioncalled "Toddler Town"."Excuse me?" the woman that walked up to the three of us said after NurseSandy.
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